I'm In Awe Of The Working Mom

 I feel like a run over dog at the end of most days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful to be a stay at home mom and spend 24/7 with my kids, but I’m exhausted when bedtime rolls around. The baby’s fussy, the toddler wants to see his grandparents but doesn’t understand why we can’t, the dog is muddy (again), the cat got left in the garage, it’s raining (again), we’re out of caffeine, and I want to hole myself up in a closet somewhere just so I can breathe alone for a minute. Once the kids go to bed I’m still at work, doing all the things that can’t be done with a two-year-old-tornado at my feet. 

I love them with all that I am, but I am not sad when they go to bed. I know I’m not alone in this. 

When I finally get in bed at whatever-o’clock, I immediately think of all the things I needed to get done during the day that inevitably still aren’t done. Boxes on my checklist left empty, mocking me as I try to lull my mind to sleep. But a thought that almost always happens is: I don’t know how working moms do it.

Seriously. I don’t. 

I worked before I had kids and I remember being so tired at the end of the day. I think I would be a walking corpse if I was working a full-time job and taking care of my kids. (On top of already being a wife, housekeeper, friend, church-goer, neighbor friend –let’s not get in to this never ending list.)

I’m home all the time and when dinnertime rolls around you can usually still find me passing out chicken nuggets in the kitchen with a side of instant mac’n’cheese. I often feel overwhelmed with all of my to-dos, only to remind myself, well, you’ll be home tomorrow you can do it then.

Working moms usually aren’t home like I am. How do they do it? How do they balance it all? How do they determine order of importance when literally everything is important?

I grew up watching women in my family dominate the work force – a principal, a secretary, a bookkeeper, and a counselor. All of these people were also moms, wives, sisters, daughters, aunts, and friends. I almost always had a hot meal on the table at dinner, I was never neglected, my parents were at all the ball games and scholastic events I participated in, I had help with school work when needed, and I always had an ear available to listen to me complain about my ‘big’ problems. I never thought twice about any of this. I thought, well this is just how it is.

Wrong. 

And, maybe, right?

Even though I find myself tired at the end of each day, I can’t wrap my mind around the lives of women that are both amazing mothers and excelling in their careers outside the four walls of their home. 

I see you.

Me, the stay at home mom who hasn’t brushed her hair in days, has baby fluids on her clothes, has a degree in a box somewhere collecting dust – I see you. 

I applaud you. I’m in awe of you excellently walking the delicate balance between work and home. 

I’m proud of you. 

If you think no one is in your corner cheering for you, I want you to know that I am. I’m teaching my children to cheer for you too. 

Thank you for showing little girls, and women everywhere, that there will always be enough of yourself to go around – even if you feel like there isn’t. 

I Quit Caring What Other People Think & Here's What Happened

I quit worrying about putting makeup on before leaving the house. Now my skin is clearer than it’s ever been. 


I stopped dressing my kid to the nines. Now I don’t care how dirty he gets. He’s free and watching him be himself makes me happy. 


I don’t keep my feelings bottled up inside anymore, I write them down. Some have turned into blog posts that let others know they aren’t alone.


I dress in what makes me comfortable and that makes me more carefree. I can chase my kids without worry. 


I quit stressing over the perfectly balanced meals. Now my family gets excited about new things.


I quit trying to keep my son entertained. Guess what? I found out he’s got quite the imagination. 


I stopped stressing over learning materials and teaching my son. He begs me to read to him, because it’s his favorite. Now he gets to enjoy it instead of it feeling like a chore. 

I let go of the insecurities I carried due to my religion. I found that I have more in common with other believers if I don’t focus on our differences. 


I stopped worrying about the way others may think less of me because I stay home. I found more joy in the long & hard days. 


I quit trying to be picture perfect. Now I take pictures of what makes me happy and I don’t care how they look. 


I no longer focus on the things that don’t get done at the end of the day. I sleep so much better. 


I quit trying to set unrealistically high standards for my husband. Ones that he didn’t know existed because I didn’t vocalize them. My marriage flourished. 


I quit trying to make everything even - the kids, the grandparents, the family. I let my son voice what he wants. 


I stopped watching the clock. I found that the minutes go by too fast instead of slow. 


I let go of having a spotless house. My kids have less limits. 


I no longer worry about things I can’t change. The weight on my shoulders I’ve carried for so long has disappeared. 


I stopped focusing on a schedule. Now we have more adventures instead and less time for naps. 


I quit caring what other people think and I’m so glad it happened.

My Cup Is Full

This whole stay at home thing is wearing me down. I'm sure it's wearing everyone down at this point. 

The days with little kids are loooong & the isolation can be suffocating. 

But these little kids - boy, do they make all the craziness worth it. 

At any other normal time, my toddler would be at school two days a week. Or maybe at the park with friends or at a playdate. We're constantly on the go. He loves it & so do I. 

Now he's home 24/7. I thought his world would implode, but it didn't. He's not bothered by it. He asks about school, church, and his grandparents often, but somehow he hasn't melted down over everything just yet.

I'm getting more time with him and he's getting wonderful time with his new baby sister. Precious time he wouldn't get under normal circumstances.

As much as I am ready to get back in to a routine and visit all our people, I'm soaking up the irreplaceable sibling bond that I'm watching grow inside our home every day. 

My cup is full.

Our Overwhelming New Normal

Everything going on right now is overwhelming. And, quite frankly, crazy. It’s like someone opened a up sci-fi novel and the entire world got sucked into some alternate universe. Schools cancelled, gatherings limited, churches closed, grandparents quarantined, and people scrambling to find childcare in this new work-from-home-reality.

More often than not, emotions are scattered, tensions are high, and people are stumped. Homes have been turned upside-down in an effort to find a rhythm in the “new normal”. But, what the majority of the world is struggling with right now is everyday life for some. I hope we can remember that once all of this corona-craziness is over.

The isolation? That’s how grandparents feel when no one visits.

The worry?

Read the rest over at Knoxville Moms.