I get to spend time with my family today because people died for me.
My husband gets a day off of work because people died for him.
My kids get to go to church because people died for them.
I get to come and go at my own free will because people died for me.
I don’t have to live in fear within my country because people died for me.
Young men, and women, for generations have shown more bravery than I ever will.
They leave all they know behind. It is faith in every sense of the word - respect for the greater good.
Eighteen year old children - CHILDREN - leave and never return.
And I get a three day weekend.
It seems absolutely selfish on my part.
I don’t have the courage to leave my family, much less my country, in order to preserve freedoms for people I don’t even know.
I don’t have a heart large enough to hold the tragedy that unfolds for people that never make it home.
My heart lurches at the possible thought of sending my own son off to war. The draft is something I can’t imagine going through, but SO many families did.
I get sick to my stomach when I think about those lost in Vietnam, the World Wars, Iraq, and Afghanistan. (Not to mention the service members that have returned home a different person, never to be the same again after war.)
I hope I can teach my children to know that all we have comes from the absolute bravest people.
People we will never get the chance to meet.
To All The Women That Shape Me - Thank You
The age old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”, is true. I didn’t realize this until I had children of my own. As a child I never noticed the amount of women coming and going in my life and how they influenced me as I grew. Even today as an adult, the women in my life continue to shape me in to a better version of myself.
I want to thank all of you.
To my Mom: Thank you for supporting me and guiding me when I need it most. Thank you for the discipline that I so hated as a teen – we both know I needed it.
To my Grandmas: Thank you for always being there with a smile (and usually a cookie) to fix all the bad days. Thank you for some of my most precious memories and sleepovers. I pray my children get to experience this with their grandparents as they grow.
To my Stepmom: First of all, I don’t like the word stepmom. But, alas. Thank you for loving me, and now loving my children, even though you don’t ‘have’ to. You want to. That is irreplaceable.
To my Aunt: Thank you for being fun, loving, and ever supportive. I hope I can be a refuge and place to turn for my future nieces and nephews like you have been for me. Thanks for bringing the party.
To my sister: Thanks for always being there and loving my babies. Growing up together truly was the best – fights and all.
To my Great Grandmas: You never showed me anything but love. Thank you for being a refuge and a truly precious memory.
To my cousin: Thanks for being my best friend when I need it, my sister in others, a confidant always, and for telling me to get it together when it’s needed. I’m glad my children get to grow up with you on their team.
To my Mother-in-law: Thank you for taking me in and treating me as your own. Thank you for letting me be unapologetically me. I pray I always extend the same grace to my childrens’ future spouses.
To my friends: Some of y’all have seen me through it all. Thank you for being beside me through high school, seeing me through marriage, and now babies. Thank you for the random text messages and for being available as a sounding board no matter the time of day. Thank you for not questioning my parenting abilities and showing up in support and solidarity when it’s needed.
To my sister-in-laws: Thank you for letting me love your brother. He’s special. You let me in and never questioned it. I want to be like that.
To my friends’ moms: Thank you for letting me in your home, no questions asked. Growing up you were always there with food, a good time, and a listening ear when it was needed. I want my home to be as welcoming to my children and their friends as your homes were to me.
To all the church ladies: Thank you for always greeting me with a smile and offering a hand to help me with my squirmy children on Sunday. It truly does take a village with little ones in church.
The role as a woman is ever changing. It is a lifelong commitment to continually be better. To do good and be well, to raise babies and birth companies, to be vulnerable yet stay stoic. Being a woman can be, and is most of the time, exhausting.
Times change and people change, but one thing won’t ever change and that is the village that shapes us. It doesn’t change; it just keeps growing.
I’m so grateful I have a plethora of women who have guided me to who I am at this moment. You have provided me with an arsenal of tools to handle whatever comes my way. I know how to be a better wife, mother, sister, aunt and friend because of each of you.
I’m so glad my children have you in their village now, too.
Thank you.
We Must Do Better For The Mamas
Becoming a mom is earth shattering. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first, third, or even sixth time bringing a new baby home, each time is scary, exciting, and tiring. Having had a baby before shouldn’t diminish the fact that each time you head home from the hospital it is a new experience. Every time is unique and different, just like our kids are. We talk SO much about new babies: what to expect, how big they are each week during pregnancy, baby showers galore, feeding tips, sleepy cues, daily then weekly then monthly visits to the pediatrician, new baby products out-the-wazoo — the list is never ending. Don’t get me wrong; all of these things (and more) regarding a brand new life are very important.
But, what about the brand new mom?
We must do better for the mamas. Oftentimes it is forgotten that when a baby is born, a mom is born too. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t her first baby; she becomes a new person each and every time. She has to in order to settle into the new normal of life. A mom needs support. It may not be the textbook support you imagine it to be and it may be a different kind of support with each baby, but support is crucial. It could be taking care of the older kids, doing laundry, bringing dinner, or it could just be giving her space and staying away for a few weeks. There is no normal; every baby and every mama have a vastly different experience and that should be respected.
It’s not about you; it’s about the new baby and mom.
That’s important. Even now that I’m a mom, I have to remind myself of this each time a friend has a baby.
Finish reading this blog post over at Knoxville Moms.
I'm In Awe Of The Working Mom
I feel like a run over dog at the end of most days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful to be a stay at home mom and spend 24/7 with my kids, but I’m exhausted when bedtime rolls around. The baby’s fussy, the toddler wants to see his grandparents but doesn’t understand why we can’t, the dog is muddy (again), the cat got left in the garage, it’s raining (again), we’re out of caffeine, and I want to hole myself up in a closet somewhere just so I can breathe alone for a minute. Once the kids go to bed I’m still at work, doing all the things that can’t be done with a two-year-old-tornado at my feet.
I love them with all that I am, but I am not sad when they go to bed. I know I’m not alone in this.
When I finally get in bed at whatever-o’clock, I immediately think of all the things I needed to get done during the day that inevitably still aren’t done. Boxes on my checklist left empty, mocking me as I try to lull my mind to sleep. But a thought that almost always happens is: I don’t know how working moms do it.
Seriously. I don’t.
I worked before I had kids and I remember being so tired at the end of the day. I think I would be a walking corpse if I was working a full-time job and taking care of my kids. (On top of already being a wife, housekeeper, friend, church-goer, neighbor friend –let’s not get in to this never ending list.)
I’m home all the time and when dinnertime rolls around you can usually still find me passing out chicken nuggets in the kitchen with a side of instant mac’n’cheese. I often feel overwhelmed with all of my to-dos, only to remind myself, well, you’ll be home tomorrow you can do it then.
Working moms usually aren’t home like I am. How do they do it? How do they balance it all? How do they determine order of importance when literally everything is important?
I grew up watching women in my family dominate the work force – a principal, a secretary, a bookkeeper, and a counselor. All of these people were also moms, wives, sisters, daughters, aunts, and friends. I almost always had a hot meal on the table at dinner, I was never neglected, my parents were at all the ball games and scholastic events I participated in, I had help with school work when needed, and I always had an ear available to listen to me complain about my ‘big’ problems. I never thought twice about any of this. I thought, well this is just how it is.
Wrong.
And, maybe, right?
Even though I find myself tired at the end of each day, I can’t wrap my mind around the lives of women that are both amazing mothers and excelling in their careers outside the four walls of their home.
I see you.
Me, the stay at home mom who hasn’t brushed her hair in days, has baby fluids on her clothes, has a degree in a box somewhere collecting dust – I see you.
I applaud you. I’m in awe of you excellently walking the delicate balance between work and home.
I’m proud of you.
If you think no one is in your corner cheering for you, I want you to know that I am. I’m teaching my children to cheer for you too.
Thank you for showing little girls, and women everywhere, that there will always be enough of yourself to go around – even if you feel like there isn’t.
I Quit Caring What Other People Think & Here's What Happened
I quit worrying about putting makeup on before leaving the house. Now my skin is clearer than it’s ever been.
I stopped dressing my kid to the nines. Now I don’t care how dirty he gets. He’s free and watching him be himself makes me happy.
I don’t keep my feelings bottled up inside anymore, I write them down. Some have turned into blog posts that let others know they aren’t alone.
I dress in what makes me comfortable and that makes me more carefree. I can chase my kids without worry.
I quit stressing over the perfectly balanced meals. Now my family gets excited about new things.
I quit trying to keep my son entertained. Guess what? I found out he’s got quite the imagination.
I stopped stressing over learning materials and teaching my son. He begs me to read to him, because it’s his favorite. Now he gets to enjoy it instead of it feeling like a chore.
I let go of the insecurities I carried due to my religion. I found that I have more in common with other believers if I don’t focus on our differences.
I stopped worrying about the way others may think less of me because I stay home. I found more joy in the long & hard days.
I quit trying to be picture perfect. Now I take pictures of what makes me happy and I don’t care how they look.
I no longer focus on the things that don’t get done at the end of the day. I sleep so much better.
I quit trying to set unrealistically high standards for my husband. Ones that he didn’t know existed because I didn’t vocalize them. My marriage flourished.
I quit trying to make everything even - the kids, the grandparents, the family. I let my son voice what he wants.
I stopped watching the clock. I found that the minutes go by too fast instead of slow.
I let go of having a spotless house. My kids have less limits.
I no longer worry about things I can’t change. The weight on my shoulders I’ve carried for so long has disappeared.
I stopped focusing on a schedule. Now we have more adventures instead and less time for naps.
I quit caring what other people think and I’m so glad it happened.