You know one of the best things about parenting right now in this chaotic world?
Moms groups on the internet.
You’ve probably never met these women. You more than likely never will. But guess where you turn at 2am when the baby won’t sleep or one of your children has a funky rash?
That’s right. Your Facebook mom group friends.
(If you’re laughing about the rash thing, don’t. You may think you’ll never post about it, but just wait. Your time is coming. If you don’t post about it, you’ll at least keyword search “rash”.)
Do you need someone to help ease and guide you into a new stage of parenting? Potty training, bottles, table food, BLW, homeschooling, preschool, high school graduates, insurance, home buying – you name it, these online moms group ladies have an answer for you.
Need recommendations for date night? They’ve got you covered. Want new curtains? They’ll point you to the best bargain in town. Losing your mind and need people to commiserate with you – cue the instant internet friendships.
Just moved to a new town and don’t know a single soul? Finding your place might just be a click away if you allow it.
Scared to take a leap of faith or what your future may hold? Worried you're warping your children? If you ever so much as halfway doubt yourself in a moms group online, women come out in DROVES.
Women that don’t know you from Adam will show up for you. They will help build you up as both mama and woman. They will change your mind if it’s warranted, too. They can provide such an honest and strange sense of support that I’ve never seen anywhere else.
Of course, you get the ill meaning ones here and there just like in all other facets of life, but the vast majority of women I’ve come to know via keyboard are true, kind, and well-wishing.
The world is weird.
And let’s be honest, online moms groups are weird.
But don’t scoff.
I used to. Then I found some of the most honest and supportive women I’ve never actually met in real life.
But, maybe someday I will.
An Ode To The Mom Bra
To My Beloved Mom Bra,
You are the ugliest bra I own. There is nothing nice about you. You are ratty. You look sad. You are well worn and aged. You always get thrown in the dryer, never hung to dry like your tag suggests. More often than not you have mixed-matched pads because the washing machine somehow pulled yours out and they’re floating in the laundry abyss of our house. You probably deserve better, but I never give you the chance.
You are my go-to girl.
You don’t get washed as often as you should (my apologies) and I always toss you in every suitcase I pack. You’re always there. I know I can count on you and I often take you for granted…..
Finish reading over on Knoxville Moms.
My Tired is Tired
Today my husband asked me why there was a pen in the fridge.
I, of course, had no idea what he was talking about. So, naturally, I asked him what kind of pen?
And he was like, um, the kind you write with. Duh.
If I told you how many times the past couple months that I've put the clothes in the dryer and never turned it on, you'd probably tell me to go get my head checked. So a pen in the fridge isn't too far from the norm around here lately. I guess I just thought the top shelf in the fridge was a good spot for the pen.
Y'all. I am tired. My tired is tired.
I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of hearing about politics. I'm tired of trying to learn about coronavirus. I'm tired of stifling my anxieties over everything. I'm tired of balancing a million and one things with a smile. I'm tired of keeping the peace. I'm tired of the overwhelming amount of learning I need to do, almost daily, in order to keep up with what all is going on in the world right now.
I want to be informed, but I also kind of want to turn the TV off and shut my blinds and never return to the 'real' world. Whatever that is (or will be?). I don't want to live in fear, but I also don't want to live in the dark.
I'm trying to find a balance for myself. I'm trying to find a balance for my family and my home. I think that's what we are all doing right now: just finding a balance.
So, if you're losing your mind while trying to keep it all together - just know you aren't alone.
I'm over here putting pens in the fridge and doing double the amount of laundry because I keep forgetting to turn the dryer on.
This originally appeared on Facebook.
The Magic Of A Baby During A Pandemic
There are few things, maybe even none at all, which we can completely control outside the walls of our homes. If we’re being honest, then there isn’t too much we can control inside our homes either; the dog, the kids, the husband, they’re all crazy. But one amazing, tiny little thing has kept me centered during this global pandemic – a baby.
Babies are magic. They’re sent straight from Heaven, delivered right into the waiting arms of parents from our Heavenly Father above. They are love in an infinite number of ways wrapped up tight for you to take home. When you get them home, that love begins to grow and flourish and you get the smallest taste of the love in Heaven waiting for each of us one day.
I didn’t deliver during the pandemic, but for those mamas that did – I salute you. You probably didn’t get the delivery experience you wanted and you more than likely have family looking at the new babe through windows and doors. My heart aches for you. Please, don’t be discouraged. Times are weird, hard and even suffocating right now, but you’ve brought life into this world and you don’t need to forget that.
Having a baby at home during this time has been the absolute biggest blessing of my life. There has been little scheduling, no worries, no unexpected visitors, no places to be, and few things to do. All sense of urgency and worry we normally experience in the first few months of a baby’s life have been erased.
Oh, is it glorious!
We have been able to navigate feedings and diaper changes without a crowd. A new big brother hasn’t had his entire life upended, even though he thinks it has been sometimes. Weekends as a family of four have been just that and what an unexpected, and at first unwanted, blessing that has been.
The magic of a new baby has been able to unfold in our home due to the insanity of the world right now and oddly I am forever grateful. There is little I can control outside of my home and luckily I have been able to focus all of my energy inside these four walls for now. Getting to watch the smallest of all people learn, strengthen, and grow without any distractions has been the strangest paradise; almost an oxymoron in every sense.
As wife and mama we are the constant our family depends on. We are their safe and sometimes their scary. We are always there to give a hug, lecture unwanted (but needed) advice, and to tell them we love them. This has become increasingly apparent during these times - we are their center.
One thing is for sure, though I am sad to admit I may not have noticed it without the pandemic, my kids are my center and new babies are pure magic.
Dear Daughter, Eat The Dang Cookie
This was my lunch today. Yep. Doritos and a Dr. Pepper.
A week ago you might’ve seen me with water and a salad, or leftovers from dinner the night before. But not today. And you probably won’t catch me doing that after today, either.
I’m not saying eat junk 24/7.
What I’m saying is give yourself GRACE.
A couple weeks ago I quit drinking soda. I lasted 4 days. Then I said I was going to give up sweets. I lasted 3 days. I stared at the mirror all too long and cursed myself for not having self control & not being healthier.
I had a baby 5 months ago. And another one 2.5 years ago. To think my body would look like it did in college is, quite frankly, stupid.
So, I’m not going to say no to a cookie.
I’m not going to choose asparagus when I really want bread.
I’m not going to stress over what my belly looks like anymore.
I’m going to love my kids, love what I eat, and love myself through the process.
I want to be the best example I can be for my daughter. I want to teach her to love herself and that she is enough the way she is. God created her in His image & He makes no mistakes.
Of course, I will teach her how to make healthy and smart choices and to be active, too.
BUT there can be a balance. All things in moderation, right?
I’ve realized the last thing I want to do is preach one thing to her & then do the opposite myself.
I don’t want her to grow up hating numbers on a scale and spending much too long focusing on herself in the mirror.
I don’t want to be the reason she finds insecurities within herself. I don’t want her to look back and realize a negative body image stigma came from me - her mother.
I’m going to teach her to love herself. I’m going to do my best to teach her to be happy & how that comes from within.
And I’ll always tell her to take the chance and eat the dang cookie.