My Kids Thrive on a Schedule (And So Do I)

The clock is the peacekeeper in our house. It helps me decide what to do and when to do it. Naptime will be the hill I live and die on. If you contact me around the hours of 1-3pm, I probably won’t respond because my brain is taking a much needed break.

I’m a Type A personality, albeit leaning more Type B since having kids (because, hello, they make you that way), and after having my first baby, I was overwhelmed. I felt like my head never quit spinning the first few months and I was holding on by a thread. I knew that if I didn’t figure something out quickly, my mind was going to be forever lost in the new baby abyss.

Enter: a schedule. It saved my sanity. I mean it.

After doing lots of research about age appropriate wake times and finding a routine I was comfortable with, my world did a 180. I was able to plan for the day and not fly by the seat of my pants. The best part was that my baby found a reliable routine and knew what to expect each day.

As an adult, there is something comforting in knowing what’s coming next and I know my kids find comfort in this too. They have little control over their lives at such a young age and I’ve found that sticking to a schedule makes our days easier and happier. When baby number two entered our house and I was up to my ears in balancing another human life on my plate, I really learned the value of having a schedule.

Read the rest over on Knoxville Moms.

Babies Are Hard, But Give Yourself Grace

It’s no secret that babies are hard. They turn your world upside down from the moment they enter it. For that entire first year you play a back and forth game of who is in control: you or the baby. Figuring out what someone is saying when crying is the only way they can communicate can be deemed difficult to say the least. 

You’re always exhausted from trying to decipher those cries, learn the baby’s cues, figure out how to get them to sleep, attempt to sleep yourself, still do the thousand things you’ve always had to do before the baby came along, and let’s not forget the new hundreds of things that are on your plate because of the newest little bundle of joy. 

A baby makes your head spin in all directions, but they bring the closest thing to magic inside of your home you’ll ever see. People turn to mush, you find yourself crying all the time (for things both good and bad. Thanks, hormones.), and I have yet to find something that can cure a rough day quicker than a snuggled up baby falling asleep on your chest. 

Babies are worth all the hard days and more, but I’m not sad when those days of basically sleepwalking are behind me. 

It’s hard to function on minutes of sleep for months on end. It’s a struggle to find a new balance for yourself each time you bring a newborn home from the hospital; not to mention the new balance that your husband and other kids have to find, too. I can’t remember a lot of what went on in each of my kids’ first few months of life (so write in those journals mamas!) and I’m so glad we are past the phase of utter exhaustion. I do not miss it one bit. 

So don’t feel bad if you aren’t enjoying it either. If you’re hanging on by a thread, you aren’t alone. I promise.

Your kid will eventually take naps and sleep through the night. You will get to go on a date with your husband again one day. You will (eventually) feel like yourself again.

Hang in there, mama. It doesn’t last forever. 

Give yourself grace through the process.

This originally appeared on Facebook.

Mama, You're Still Smart

I bought this book during my senior year of college. I got it because I was studying to be a scientist and I wanted to devour any information available. Anything that made me think made me feel like I was progressing and moving forward in life. 

On the day of my college graduation I was 10 weeks pregnant. I almost fainted TWICE in that cap and gown. Summa Cum Laude doesn’t mean anything when you’re just praying you can make it through the entire ceremony without passing out in front of thousands of people. 

This book, I bought with great purpose to further fuel my desire for knowledge and broaden my mind, didn’t get read. I never even cracked it open.

The desire to learn never left, though. 

So here I sit, finally opening this book. Jumping into a world that feels almost long forgotten, but it really isn’t. I can feel facts coming back to me, pushing forward from the depths of my mind. The book may be well outdated now (science changes too fast, you know), but I don’t care. 

Mamas, take heart. 

Even if you feel like your brain is complete baby and toddler mush - you are still smart. You are still capable. Your learning may now be comprised of sleep cues, baby eating habits, and teaching the ABCs to obstinate 3 year olds instead of whatever your heart studied long ago. 

That’s okay. 

I’ve still got the same brain, even though it is now overloaded with family/child/marriage information. The thought of trying to learn anything else is usually overwhelming. That’s okay, too. 

But here I sit. Finally reading this book I wanted to read so many years ago. There are children whining and laughing and playing. My husband is so graciously entertaining them so I can sit for a few minutes and read a book I bought years ago with good intentions. 

Don’t ever give up learning, even if you’re learning things that were never on your radar. Learning anything matters. Anything at all. Learning is progressing forward in life, no matter what the topic is. Learning how to raise your children is just as important as that degree you worked for so long ago. 

I learn something new from my kids almost every day. Dare I say they are our greatest teachers?

Mama, you are still smart. 

Your teachers are just younger than you now. 

Even though you feel overwhelmed with everything else, don’t forget to delve into something that used to make your brain tick. 

Do something for yourself sometimes. 

Even if it’s just sitting down to read a book so old the information is probably outdated.

This originally appeared on Facebook.

Internet Mom Groups

You know one of the best things about parenting right now in this chaotic world?

Moms groups on the internet. 

You’ve probably never met these women. You more than likely never will. But guess where you turn at 2am when the baby won’t sleep or one of your children has a funky rash? 

That’s right. Your Facebook mom group friends. 

(If you’re laughing about the rash thing, don’t. You may think you’ll never post about it, but just wait. Your time is coming. If you don’t post about it, you’ll at least keyword search “rash”.)

Do you need someone to help ease and guide you into a new stage of parenting? Potty training, bottles, table food, BLW, homeschooling, preschool, high school graduates, insurance, home buying – you name it, these online moms group ladies have an answer for you. 

Need recommendations for date night? They’ve got you covered. Want new curtains? They’ll point you to the best bargain in town. Losing your mind and need people to commiserate with you – cue the instant internet friendships. 

Just moved to a new town and don’t know a single soul? Finding your place might just be a click away if you allow it. 

Scared to take a leap of faith or what your future may hold? Worried you're warping your children? If you ever so much as halfway doubt yourself in a moms group online, women come out in DROVES.

Women that don’t know you from Adam will show up for you. They will help build you up as both mama and woman. They will change your mind if it’s warranted, too. They can provide such an honest and strange sense of support that I’ve never seen anywhere else. 

Of course, you get the ill meaning ones here and there just like in all other facets of life, but the vast majority of women I’ve come to know via keyboard are true, kind, and well-wishing. 

The world is weird. 

And let’s be honest, online moms groups are weird. 

But don’t scoff. 

I used to. Then I found some of the most honest and supportive women I’ve never actually met in real life.

But, maybe someday I will.

This originally appeared on Facebook.

An Ode To The Mom Bra

To My Beloved Mom Bra,

You are the ugliest bra I own. There is nothing nice about you. You are ratty. You look sad. You are well worn and aged. You always get thrown in the dryer, never hung to dry like your tag suggests. More often than not you have mixed-matched pads because the washing machine somehow pulled yours out and they’re floating in the laundry abyss of our house. You probably deserve better, but I never give you the chance.

You are my go-to girl. 

You don’t get washed as often as you should (my apologies) and I always toss you in every suitcase I pack. You’re always there. I know I can count on you and I often take you for granted…..

Finish reading over on Knoxville Moms.