Traveling Without a Plan

Have you ever hopped on a plane not knowing what you were going to do once you got to your destination?

The thought of that gave me major anxiety. But I did it. And it was AMAZING.

In the fall, my husband and I took our first long-distance trip without our kids! I was set on having this trip detailed by the hour. I wanted to do all the things, see all the sights, eat all the foods, and cram absolutely as much as I could into our four day trip to Denver.

My husband convinced me otherwise.

“Let’s just enjoy it,” he said. So…that’s what we did.

I’ve never packed a bag and boarded an airplane with nothing booked but a rental car. No place to stay, no activities — nothing. It was unnerving for me, honestly.

Read the rest of this post over at Knoxville Moms.

Recovering From a Traumatic Birth experience

Giving birth is a life-changing experience, but for some women, it can also be traumatic. A traumatic birth experience can have a significant impact on a woman's emotional and physical well-being and can leave her feeling overwhelmed, scared, and unsure of how to move forward. If you have experienced a traumatic birth, it is important to seek support and take steps to heal and recover. I had a traumatic birth with my first child, and one of my biggest regrets as a mother was not seeking the help I needed to recover from it and process it sooner.

One of the first things that you can do to recover from a traumatic birth experience is to seek support from loved ones. It is common for women who have experienced a traumatic birth to feel isolated and alone, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. Talk to your partner, friends, and family members about what you are going through, and let them know how they can support you. Most people will be unsure of how to help you, so be clear and direct. It is okay to need support during this time.

Another important step in recovering from a traumatic birth experience is to seek professional help. If you are experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as flashbacks, nightmares, and anxiety, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can help you to process your experience and work through any lingering trauma. Even if you don’t experience the severity of PTSD, please seek outside help for postpartum depression, postpartum anxieties, and trauma.

In addition to seeking support from loved ones and professionals, there are a few other things that you can do to recover from a traumatic birth experience.

• Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is important, both physically and emotionally. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking time for yourself. It is also important to be gentle with yourself and avoid pushing yourself too hard. You are only human, Mama.

• Talk about your experience: It can be helpful to talk about your experience with others who have been through something similar. This can provide a sense of validation and support and can help you to feel less alone. You can find support groups online or in your community, or you can connect with other women through social media. (If you are needing one in the Knoxville area, please let me know and I can send you in the right direction).

• Write about your experience: Writing about your experience can be a therapeutic way to process your emotions and thoughts. You can write in a journal, or you can try writing a letter to your baby or to yourself. Writing can help you to release any emotions that you may be holding onto and can provide a sense of closure.

• Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, without judgment. This can be a helpful way to deal with any lingering trauma from your birth experience and can help you to focus on the present moment rather than getting stuck in the past. You can try mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation. (Hint: try yoga).

• Take time to heal: It is so very important to give yourself time to heal. Recovery from a traumatic birth experience is not a quick process, and it is important to be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time that you need to heal - both physically and mentally.

Recovering from a traumatic birth experience can be a difficult and challenging process, but it is possible.

You can do it, Mama. I believe in you.

The Ups and Downs of Motherhood

Motherhood is often depicted as a joyful and fulfilling experience, but the reality is that it can also be challenging and demanding. Becoming a mother means taking on a multitude of roles and responsibilities, and it can be a roller coaster ride of emotions. I want you to know that it is okay to acknowledge and sit with all of the emotions that come with motherhood.

One of the most common challenges that mothers face is a lack of time for themselves. With the constant demands of caring for a child, it can be difficult for mothers to find time for their own interests and pursuits. This can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment and can make it difficult for mothers to maintain a sense of identity and individuality.

Another challenge that mothers often face is the lack of support from their partners and communities. In many cases, mothers are expected to shoulder the majority of childcare responsibilities, even when they are working outside of the home. This can be overwhelming, and exhausting, and can leave mothers feeling isolated and unsupported.

Despite these challenges, we all know that motherhood also has rewards. The bond between a mother and her child is often incredibly strong and can be a source of immense joy and fulfillment. Seeing your child grow and develop is incredibly rewarding! The love and connection you share can be deeply fulfilling.

Motherhood is a transformative experience. It can challenge you to grow and develop as a person and can help you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your priorities. Surprisingly, it can also be a great opportunity to develop new skills and talents and to discover hidden strengths and capabilities. I realized traits and qualities of myself I never knew I had until I became a Mama.

Overall, motherhood is a complex and multifaceted experience, and it can be both rewarding and challenging. It’s okay to feel both emotions. As a matter of fact, it’s imperative we feel all the emotions that encompass motherhood if you ask me!

It is important for mothers to take care of themselves and seek support from their partners and communities in order to navigate the highs and lows of this demanding and rewarding journey. Please join us in any of the upcoming Mama Yoga classes if you are looking for ways to navigate motherhood with more support and connection.

Going Back To Work Saved My Sanity

I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for five years. Unable to fully inhale or exhale. Scared that if I do I might explode. 

I’m not sure when I reached my breaking point, but it happened for a long list of reasons. I’m a stay-at-home mom to two kids under five, I have a husband who travels for work and is gone all the time, and I don’t have any family close by. I had a baby during COVID-19 and that was a whirlwind. (To be honest, I think I’m still recovering from that one.) We sold our house, moved into an apartment for what was supposed to be six to eight months that turned into 21 months, and built a house (without killing anyone, surprisingly) in the process.  

I’ve been treading water just to stay alive instead of swimming. 

And that takes its toll. It’s hard to be “ON” all day every day for days at a time, much less years. I’ve been the primary parent, carried the mental load of my family, and hardly had any breaks for five years. And I reached a point where I couldn’t do it anymore.

I needed air. 

Y’all, I love my kids, I love my husband, and I’m proud of the life we’ve built. I’m not complaining about circumstances or whining about life. I’m trying to paint a picture of the reality that so many stay-at-home moms face. I was depressed.

I thought that being a stay-at-home mom was going to be easy and breezy. I thought I was going to make my kids three square meals a day, teach them their ABCs, be the first one in the preschool pick-up line, sign up for arts and crafts, and meet my husband at the door with a hug and a kiss every day when he came home from work.

EL. OH. EL.

None of that happened. Well, maybe occasionally some of those things happened, but it wasn’t real life. The mother picture I painted for myself wasn’t me.

And it took me five years (plus some therapy) to realize that. 

Head on over to Knoxville Moms to read the rest of the story.

Dealing with mom guilt and judgment from others

Mom guilt is a common feeling among mothers, especially those who are trying to balance their roles as mothers and their other responsibilities and pursuits. Mom guilt often arises when mothers feel like they are not doing enough for their children or that they are not living up to societal expectations of motherhood. This guilt can be compounded by judgment from others, whether it be from family members, friends, or strangers.

One way to deal with mom guilt and judgment from others is to remind yourself that no one is a perfect parent and that it is impossible to meet the impossible standards of perfection that society often sets for mothers. It is important to focus on being the best parent that you can be, given your individual circumstances and priorities. This may mean making different choices than other mothers, and that is okay. Only you know what’s best for your family and you need to honor that.

Another way to cope with mom guilt and judgment from others is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remember that you are doing the best you can and that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed or unsure at times. Honestly, I’ve never met a mom who doesn’t deal with conflicting emotions and reactions revolving around mom guilt and judgment. It can also be helpful to talk to other mothers who may be going through similar experiences, as this can provide a sense of support and validation. While we all live drastically different lives, support can be found in community.

Additionally, setting boundaries with others can be an effective way to deal with mom guilt and judgment. This may mean setting boundaries with your own expectations of yourself, as well as boundaries with others who may be critical or judgmental. It is okay to let others know that their opinions do not define your worth as a mother, and that you are doing what is best for your family. Remember: You do not have to parent like your own mother or mother-in-law in order to be a good mom.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that motherhood is a journey and that it will have its ups and downs. It is okay to make mistakes and to ask for help when needed. By practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and focusing on being the best parent that you can be, you can navigate the challenges of mom guilt and judgment from others.

If you’re feeling alone in your motherhood journey, send me an email! I’d love to tell you about the upcoming Mama Yoga classes that can connect you with other mamas on a similar journey.