We all try our best to set boundaries and create rules for our children that will (hopefully) make them well-rounded, conscious contributors of society. We want them to grow up to be empathetic, content, and kind. Truly we all are just trying our best to raise kids that turn out to be good people.

But what happens when we let the rules become too much?

If you clicked on this blog post to read about how you can use the Pareto Principle in your parenting, you might be disappointed. The version of the 80-20 rule I’m talking about has little to do with inputs, outputs, or productivity in a business sense. All it entails is this: 80% of the time you hold fast to the rules and 20% of the time you don’t. That’s it. It’s that simple.

I should begin with saying I have toddlers. I am by no means qualified to give advice to anyone with children over the age of four and my 80-20 rule will look a lot different in 10 years than it does right now. I’m sure something we can all agree on is that rules often upset kids. Shoot, I’m an adult and sometimes rules upset me! We ask a lot of our kids, occasionally too much, and it can lead to frustration — both from the kids and on our end as parents.

But what happens when we let the rules become too much?

Enter the 20%.