We're All Out Here Winging It

I bribe my kids, usually with screen time. I don’t like to cook, so we eat a lot of Chick-fil-A. Only a few of our snacks are healthy. I yell. Usually too much. I feel like I spend most of my day enforcing rules. I want them to grow up and be good humans…. So it’s necessary. Right?

I tried breastfeeding and hated it. My second baby went straight to formula. I sleep trained my kids for my sanity. I’m strict about bedtime. I let the dishes pile up even though we use paper plates. I don’t iron anything. Ever. My entire day revolves around nap time.

I love my kids more than life itself, but I will sit in my car alone for a peaceful break. From the thinking, the touching, and the never ending planning. Most days I feel like I’m getting everything wrong.

When I go to bed at night, the only thing I know for sure is that I tried. I tried to love, to encourage, to teach, and to listen. I gave hugs and kisses at bedtime even if we forgot to brush teeth. I fall short every day. But I know my kids know they’re loved.

No mama has it all figured out. And if they say they do, they’re lying

We’re all out here winging it.

This post was originally published on Facebook.

Strong Moms Cry, Too

This post was originally published on Her View From Home.

Being strong doesn’t mean you never cry. It means you find the courage to continue within the tears you shed.

Setting boundaries is a facet of strength that is often overlooked. You cannot be the mama, wife, friend, sister, aunt (and more) you are called to be if there is nothing left of you at the end of each day. There is strength in setting limits, both for yourself and other people, that can’t be found anywhere else.

Some of the strongest people I’ve met know how to ask for help. They set aside their pride, ask for what they need, and accept whatever comes their way graciously. Leaning on your husband might be looked down on by some of the world, but I know it makes the Lord smile. We are not meant to drag our way through life alone.

Seeking the comfort you need from those who help hold you up is the definition of strength. 

Asking Heaven the questions on your heart and having faith that an answer will eventually come even though you don’t know how it will get to you is strength. Reaching out to Heaven, especially when you don’t want to, is a token of strength that is unparalleled.

Sometimes being strong means looking at your massive to-do list and in the midst of being overwhelmed, picking one thing to do. Just one. No one can do it all at once, mama, so don’t try to. Stepping back and doing the puzzle one piece at a time is being self-aware.

Saying no is strength. I know you want to be the best neighbor, church member, and friend you can be, but no one can say yes to everything. Completing acts of service is work of the Lord, no doubt. But if your plate is so loaded it’s starting to crack and you are losing pieces of yourself in the process, then saying no to some things is necessary. It makes you stronger, not weak.

Sometimes being strong just means showing up.

To work, to school, to town—it just means being there. Your head may not be there, but the fact that you trudged through the roughest day and showed up anyway is strength in its purest form.

Knowing when to take a break is strength. Knowing your limits is invaluable. Seeking help does not make you less than. Holding your head up at the end of each day when it feels like you absolutely can’t is being strong. Learning and living through each day makes you stronger.

Heaven is always on your side. There are angels here on Earth, and even more on the other side, cheering you on and holding you up when it feels as if you can’t muster the strength to go on.

Mama, you are strong. You are bold. You are beloved by many. Each day is better because you are here. Don’t ever forget that.

Dear Teen, There is So Much More To Life Than High School

This post was originally published on Her View From Home.

Sweet girl, your high school graduation is quickly approaching. What a big day! You may think this night will be the culmination of your life—and that it will be. The culmination so far.

High school is glorious and wonderous in its own ways. I’m sure you’ve learned about your strengths and weaknesses, found security in your routine, and feel peace inside the bubble of your family and friends. There were first dates, first kisses, proms, state championships, and a ridiculous amount of fun, pain, and chaos in between.

But, your life is just beginning.

Some of the people you walk across that stage with will be by your side for the rest of your life, but the majority of them won’t be. The embarrassing parts of your growing up that have been burned in your brain will eventually be forgotten. The stupid choices and mistakes you can’t seem to leave behind will still follow you, and you’ll probably make more of the same, but you will learn.

I know it feels like life can’t get any better than it is right now, but it can. And it will. High school will not be the best days of your life.

One day you will walk down the aisle to the person that you know God handcrafted to fill all the empty and broken spots inside of you.

You are going to find a job you love with a boss that pushes all your buttons. You’re going to find a dead-end job that makes you bored but has the best boss in the world. You are going to switch career paths more than you will care to admit, but that means you’re growing.

You are going to question yourself, probably daily, but I think that’s a good thing.

You’ll meet people you can’t stand, but then years down the road, you find yourself emulating some of their admirable qualities. You’ll find people you swear will be in your life forever only to be done wrong by them, but you’ll be alright. You’re tough.

One day, if it’s your heart’s desire, you will find a newborn baby fresh from heaven laid on your chest. You’ll be crying tears that are a mixture of relief, fear, and joy. You’ll cry these same tears for the rest of your life due to that tiny human, so prepare yourself.

You are going to do big things. Scary things. You will mess up. You will learn how to do better. There will be good and bad. You are about to step forward into the world of more freedom and it’s up to you to figure out what to do with it.

I know it feels like your life is reaching its peak right now, but there is more to come. So. Much More. 

High school will always be coins in your memory bank, but from here on out you will be adding in dollar bills.

Don’t be afraid of the unknown, leap into it with open arms.

Sweet girl, you deserve the world. Don’t let anything hold you back. The best is yet to come.

Life is just beginning.

ABC Show and Tell List: Items Around The House

Show and Tell is a very exciting time at school for the students! I know it’s my son’s favorite day of the week. Since he’s in preschool, they focus on one letter of the alphabet each week, so you guessed it — that’s the letter the show and tell item for the week needs to represent. Sometimes it’s not an easy task to get a kid that can’t read or spell to pick out an item that begins with a specific letter, so the task falls on mom.

This list is here to help you, mama!

Items around the house: A through Z

A – apple, airplane, astronaut, acorn, Anna (from Frozen), army men, animal crackers, aunt (photo)

B – ball, banana, blanket, belt, baby (doll), ballerina, baseball, bow, bowl, board game, boat, book, band aid

C – cat, card, candy, Cookie Monster, charger, cleat, cup, controller, Chapstick, CD, cheerios, cotton ball, car, crown

Read the rest of the list over on Knoxville Moms.

The Tip That Changed My Parenting: The 80-20 Rule

We all try our best to set boundaries and create rules for our children that will (hopefully) make them well-rounded, conscious contributors of society. We want them to grow up to be empathetic, content, and kind. Truly we all are just trying our best to raise kids that turn out to be good people.

But what happens when we let the rules become too much?

If you clicked on this blog post to read about how you can use the Pareto Principle in your parenting, you might be disappointed. The version of the 80-20 rule I’m talking about has little to do with inputs, outputs, or productivity in a business sense. All it entails is this: 80% of the time you hold fast to the rules and 20% of the time you don’t. That’s it. It’s that simple.

I should begin with saying I have toddlers. I am by no means qualified to give advice to anyone with children over the age of four and my 80-20 rule will look a lot different in 10 years than it does right now. I’m sure something we can all agree on is that rules often upset kids. Shoot, I’m an adult and sometimes rules upset me! We ask a lot of our kids, occasionally too much, and it can lead to frustration — both from the kids and on our end as parents.

Enter the 20%.

Read more over at Knoxville Moms.