Going Back To Work Saved My Sanity

I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for five years. Unable to fully inhale or exhale. Scared that if I do I might explode. 

I’m not sure when I reached my breaking point, but it happened for a long list of reasons. I’m a stay-at-home mom to two kids under five, I have a husband who travels for work and is gone all the time, and I don’t have any family close by. I had a baby during COVID-19 and that was a whirlwind. (To be honest, I think I’m still recovering from that one.) We sold our house, moved into an apartment for what was supposed to be six to eight months that turned into 21 months, and built a house (without killing anyone, surprisingly) in the process.  

I’ve been treading water just to stay alive instead of swimming. 

And that takes its toll. It’s hard to be “ON” all day every day for days at a time, much less years. I’ve been the primary parent, carried the mental load of my family, and hardly had any breaks for five years. And I reached a point where I couldn’t do it anymore.

I needed air. 

Y’all, I love my kids, I love my husband, and I’m proud of the life we’ve built. I’m not complaining about circumstances or whining about life. I’m trying to paint a picture of the reality that so many stay-at-home moms face. I was depressed.

I thought that being a stay-at-home mom was going to be easy and breezy. I thought I was going to make my kids three square meals a day, teach them their ABCs, be the first one in the preschool pick-up line, sign up for arts and crafts, and meet my husband at the door with a hug and a kiss every day when he came home from work.

EL. OH. EL.

None of that happened. Well, maybe occasionally some of those things happened, but it wasn’t real life. The mother picture I painted for myself wasn’t me.

And it took me five years (plus some therapy) to realize that. 

Head on over to Knoxville Moms to read the rest of the story.

Dealing with mom guilt and judgment from others

Mom guilt is a common feeling among mothers, especially those who are trying to balance their roles as mothers and their other responsibilities and pursuits. Mom guilt often arises when mothers feel like they are not doing enough for their children or that they are not living up to societal expectations of motherhood. This guilt can be compounded by judgment from others, whether it be from family members, friends, or strangers.

One way to deal with mom guilt and judgment from others is to remind yourself that no one is a perfect parent and that it is impossible to meet the impossible standards of perfection that society often sets for mothers. It is important to focus on being the best parent that you can be, given your individual circumstances and priorities. This may mean making different choices than other mothers, and that is okay. Only you know what’s best for your family and you need to honor that.

Another way to cope with mom guilt and judgment from others is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remember that you are doing the best you can and that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed or unsure at times. Honestly, I’ve never met a mom who doesn’t deal with conflicting emotions and reactions revolving around mom guilt and judgment. It can also be helpful to talk to other mothers who may be going through similar experiences, as this can provide a sense of support and validation. While we all live drastically different lives, support can be found in community.

Additionally, setting boundaries with others can be an effective way to deal with mom guilt and judgment. This may mean setting boundaries with your own expectations of yourself, as well as boundaries with others who may be critical or judgmental. It is okay to let others know that their opinions do not define your worth as a mother, and that you are doing what is best for your family. Remember: You do not have to parent like your own mother or mother-in-law in order to be a good mom.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that motherhood is a journey and that it will have its ups and downs. It is okay to make mistakes and to ask for help when needed. By practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and focusing on being the best parent that you can be, you can navigate the challenges of mom guilt and judgment from others.

If you’re feeling alone in your motherhood journey, send me an email! I’d love to tell you about the upcoming Mama Yoga classes that can connect you with other mamas on a similar journey.

Motherhood Milestones

As moms, we often treat our kids’ milestones like they’re our own. Because let’s face it — in many ways they are!

Moms remember. We remember the big things and the little things. We remember more than we want to most of the time, too.

We remember the way our hearts ached as we took apart the crib. 

We remember the fear as we watched them drive off for the first time. 

We remember the joy when we held each of our children for the first time. 

We remember the first heartbreak, the first graduation, and the first touchdown. 

We remember these things because we have to.

We know the kids will all grow up and forge paths of their own that one day won’t include us. So we must remember. 

The team here at Knoxville Moms is made up of a variety of women with children of all ages and stages. Collectively, we’ve done a heck of a lot of mothering. 

Here are a few of our favorite motherhood milestones we’ve experienced over the years:

Head over to Knoxville Moms to read the collection of our favorite Motherhood Milestones.

The Isolation of New Motherhood

The experience of becoming a new mother can be both exhilarating and isolating. As a woman adjusts to the immense physical and emotional changes that come with childbirth, she may find herself feeling isolated from the outside world - especially if it’s her first baby. This sense of isolation can be particularly rough for mothers who are staying at home with their newborns, as they may feel disconnected from the social support networks and daily routines that previously sustained them.

One of the biggest sources of isolation for new mothers is the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn. Newborns require constant attention and care and this can be exhausting for mothers who are already dealing with the physical and hormonal changes of postpartum. (And Mamas everywhere said AMEN.) The constant demands of a newborn can leave a mother feeling drained and unable to engage in activities or relationships outside of her immediate family. Or honestly, even within her immediate family. I remember barely having the energy to hold a conversation with my husband in the first few months postpartum!

Another factor contributing to the isolation of new mothers is the lack of physical contact with others. The Covid-19 pandemic has drastically altered the state of the world, and it would be silly for us to ignore that. Even in non-pandemic times, the physical isolation of caring for a newborn can be isolating, as mothers may feel hesitant to leave their baby with others for whatever reason. But with all of the chaotic germs happening in the world right now, mothers are even more skeptical of leaving the house with their new babies - and understandably so.

New mothers may also experience isolation due to the significant lifestyle changes that come with having a baby. The lack of sleep, the need to constantly be on call for feedings and diaper changes, and the loss of personal time and freedom can all contribute to a feeling of isolation. This is particularly true for mothers who are used to being career-oriented or highly independent, as the transition to parenthood can be a significant adjustment. I was one of those women, and I wholeheartedly struggled in the transition to mom AND stay-at-home mom all at the same time. It was a reality warp for me and it took me months to come to terms with it. Know that if you are in the same boat, you are not alone.

The isolation that new mothers experience can have serious consequences for their mental health. Studies have shown that postpartum depression and anxiety are more common in mothers who feel isolated and lack social support. This is why it is so important for new mothers to have a strong support network, whether it is through friends, family, or support groups. After my personal experiences with PPA and PPD, I knew I wanted to help other women never feel the way I did and that’s how Mama Yoga came to be!

If you are feeling isolated in motherhood, no matter if this is your first or fifth baby, I encourage you to find a support system outside the walls of your own home. You need other women in your corner who are going through a similar phase of life as you or women that have been there before. Women need other women - it’s as simple as that. But we all know the reality of creating that support system of other women can be an uphill battle.

I would love to have you at any of my yoga classes! Baby + Me Yoga and the Mama Yoga monthly Mother’s Circle are wonderful answers to combatting the isolation mothers feel with a new baby. You are able to get out of the house, you are able to bring your baby along, and you are able to connect with women that are in the same phase of life as you.

My wish for 2023 is for all moms to find support in the ways they need it. Let’s work together to make that happen! If you see a mama struggling, offer your help in the way she needs. Often it is simply a listening ear ❤️

The Benefits of Yoga For Mothers

Yoga has been gaining popularity in recent years, and for good reason. This ancient practice offers a wide range of benefits for both the mind and the body. For mothers, who often face the challenges of balancing parenting responsibilities with the demands of daily life, yoga can provide a much-needed sense of calm and relaxation.

One of the most significant benefits of yoga for mothers is its ability to reduce stress and anxiety. The combination of physical movement and deep breathing can help to calm the mind and release tension from the body. This can be especially beneficial for mothers who may be dealing with the added stress of a newborn baby or the challenges of parenting older children.

In addition to reducing stress and anxiety, yoga can also improve physical health. The stretches and poses in a typical yoga routine can help to improve flexibility, strength, and balance. For mothers who may be experiencing aches and pains from carrying a baby or lifting young children, a regular yoga practice can provide relief and improve overall physical well-being.

Another benefit of yoga for mothers is its ability to improve sleep. The relaxation techniques and deep breathing involved in yoga can help to quiet the mind and prepare the body for sleep. This can be especially helpful for new mothers dealing with sleep disruptions due to a baby's schedule or their busy lives.

Furthermore, yoga can also offer social benefits for mothers. Many yoga studios and fitness centers offer classes specifically for mothers, providing an opportunity for mothers to connect with one another and form a supportive community. (And this is exactly why I offer Baby + Me Yoga!) The mindfulness and self-care focus of yoga can help mothers to prioritize their own well-being, which can improve their relationships with their children and loved ones. A mother must take care of herself in order to take care of her family.

Overall, yoga offers a wide range of benefits for mothers. From reducing stress and improving physical health to promoting better sleep and providing social connections, a regular yoga practice can be an invaluable tool for mothers navigating the challenges of parenting.

If you’ve been struggling through motherhood and need a system of support, and exercise, and want an overall better well-being, I hope you’ll join me at some upcoming classes in 2023.